“You made it”

Last night for the first time in three weeks I got to see Mom. It was for a short period but it was much needed. I showed her pictures of the kids and we talked all about Eleanor. Yes, you read that right we TALKED. Yesterday, Mom had her trach removed. It’s GONE! No more trach ever again. “Trach care and speaking valve” are now phrases of the past and I couldn’t be more overwhelmed with joy. When they told us they were going to have to put Mom on a trach, I cried and cried. For some reason I thought it would be a permanent thing that would keep us from hearing her voice ever again. Boy was I wrong. Last night when we were talking, if I would have closed my eyes it would have been just as if we were sitting at home. It was so normal and so easy. My heart needed it and I know hers did too.

Mom’s progress has been amazing. It blows us away daily to see what she’s accomplishing. We still have a few small hurdles to overcome and I would like to ask you to pray specifically for these things. I have found during this journey with Mom that when we go to the Lord with specific and detailed request our prayers are answered specifically. Mom has a spot on her left leg that is still trying to heal and  has a wound vac on it. Please pray that the Lord will hurry along the healing of that wound. She can’t be fitted for a prosthetic until it’s healed. Mom is also struggling with appetite and nausea. She needs to be able to eat in order to gain her strength back to participate in therapy. Mom has to be able to participate in three hours of therapy a day to be moved to rehab. This won’t happen without good nutrition giving her the strength she needs to make it through each therapy session. Please pray for her appetite and for continued strength.

Now that we are off of dialysis and the trach is gone, the light at the end of the tunnel is brighter than it has been in 4 months. We are on day 106 in the ICU. It has been such a long journey. Last night when I was up at the hospital I took a picture of this note written by Sophie on Mom’s pillow case. Back when Mom was very very ill a sweet friend of my grandparents made this pillowcase for friends  and family to sign and write a word of encouragement on. This was Sophie’s note:

“You made it”

Only by the Grace of God did she and any of us make it. With every step we took the Lord gave us a renewed strength to survive each moment of each day. Many of nights I would lay awake in the Brent House and pray that God would give me the strength to take my next breathe. The overwhelming sense of grief I felt during those beginning days is a feeling I will never forget and something that has forever changed me. Our family will never be the same. You don’t go through something like this and ever go back to the way things were before. BUT, we made it. I’ve learned through this whole experience that there is NOTHING that you can’t survive if you have Jesus. He will carry you through each battle and every heartache and you too can “Make it”. I pray today that if you are in a situation where you feel like “I’m not going to make it”, that you surrender that situation to the Lord. With Him, we can make it through anything.  My Mom and our family survived and although the road ahead is still long and Mom’s battle with heart failure is not over, we made it. We have so much to look forward to and so many memories to make. Thank you all for loving our family through these hard times. Thank you for the food, the donations, the hugs, the sweet messages and everything else so many of you did to get us to where we are today. We are blessed. I have a list a mile long of thank you notes to write and I can’t wait to personally thank each one of you for all you have done. Please continue to pray for our family as we start to prepare Mom to be moved to rehab. I would like to guess that we have a few more weeks at Ochsner before that happens, but no one really knows. We love you all so much and covet every prayer and hug that you give us. We made it guys... we made it!

Our Thing to Look Forward To...

I have tried to start this blog post for the past two days and every time I do I end up deleting what I have written and starting over. Overwhelmed doesn’t begin to explain my current feelings and to be honest I’m unable to find a word or statement that does. For those of you who aren’t my Facebook friend, on Sunday night at 9:27PM I unexpectedly delivered my precious baby girl 7 weeks early. Our “thing to look forward to” is here and although she has some mountains to climb, she’s perfect.

So many people have texted, messaged and called asking what happened? To be honest, we really don’t know. Like I said in my last post, we have been so blessed that this pregnancy was nothing like my last. I’ve been healthy and have had no complications. It all started Saturday night. Ryan and Sophie wanted crawfish so we went and had dinner at Duke’s in Watson with Grannie and Pops. I noticed during dinner that nothing tasted good. I didn’t feel “good” but really couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. Later that night, I woke up and was deathly ill. Uncontrollably vomiting and nothing was making it better. Sunday morning, Ryan texted my OB and they decided I needed to go to the assessment center to get fluids to keep me from getting dehydrated. It was downhill from there. When we arrived, I was having some contractions and after being assessed we were told I was 4cm dilated, 60% effaced and in active labor. My blood pressure was also extremely high and I had gotten an awful headache. I felt terrible. They sent me straight up to labor and delivery. By the time I got up there, my contractions were so close that the doctor on call became concerned I was having a placental abruption and told us we might need to prepare for an emergency C section. They immediately gave me pain meds, nausea meds, Celestone shot for baby’s lungs, Magnesium Sulfate for baby’s neuro development and also to try and slow my contractions. Nothing they tried would slow anything down enough to hold off labor. It became evident really fast that I would be having Baby Eleanor that day. By 7:45PM I decided I would get an epidural because I was 6-7cm and progressing extremely quickly. By 9Pm I was full 10 cm and they took me to the OR to deliver baby girl. Her delivery was quick but it was confirmed that I was experiencing a placental abruption and it was by the grace of God that I delivered as quickly as I did and didn’t have more serious complications. Yet again, the Lord showed us just how gracious and loving He is. He put me and baby girl right where we needed to be at exactly the right time to be sure we were safe and taken care of. We feel so blessed.

Eleanor is pure perfection. Everytime I see her all I can think about is how I can’t wait for my Mom to hold her. I am overwhelmed with a feeling of thankfulness that even though that day is weeks away, it will happen. My baby will get to grow up with her Lollie and I couldn’t be more excited about that.

Mom is doing extremely well. The Last week has been filled with hope and good news and we celebrate daily over her accomplishments. Nephrology was excited to tell us that Mom’s kidneys are recovering. Her kidneys are producing large amounts of urine and she is needing dialysis less and less. They believe that once she is eating again and her body is getting good nutrition the days of dialysis will come to an end. This has been one of our biggest concerns and to hear the doctors be so optimistic about the recovery of her kidneys is such a blessing. Thank you Lord!

For the first time ever, we are discussing a timeline for getting her moved to rehab. Our hope is that by the end of March she will be well enough to move to a rehab facility where she will continue her physical and mental recovery. When I was told that news I literally started to jump up and down. Our light at the end of the tunnel is brighter and we are getting closer to it. What a miracle!!

Our prayers now are that Mom continues to gain strength each and every day. She’s still very weak and lifting her arms is still draining for her. She can’t yet feed herself and I know getting some independence and arm strength would do so much for her emotionally. When you pray for Mom, please pray for strength mentally and physically.

I haven’t seen Mom in over a week now and I miss her so much. I know it will be a little longer before I’m able to see her again because I can’t leave Eleanor. We will be in the NICU for a while longer and I need to be by her side. It’s been so hard having a baby and not having Mom here to experience it with me. We are so close. All I can do is rest in the hope that the days of us being separated are coming to an end. There’s a day ahead of us where we will all be home, happy, healthy and together again. Please continue to pray for our family. Pray that these days of hardship are coming to an end. I don’t know how much more we can handle. We are tired, but continuing to trust that the Lord is carrying us through every step we take. We will continue to praise Him in this storm. I quoted a song in a past blog and I’m continuing to cling to a line from it. “He brings beauty out of brokeness and hope to our heartache.” When I look at our beautiful baby girl, I can’t help but smile and remind myself that even in a life that feels so broken and full of heartache the Lord continues to show up and give us the hope and beauty we need to make it through each day. This week He gave us Eleanor and I think he knew that it was that beauty and hope we needed to make through the rest of this journey. Who am I to question His plan or timing?