Not Today Satan.

When prayers are answered, I always find myself teary eyed and so thankful it makes me short of breath. This morning my Mom called me and although she was very emotional, the call literally took my breath away.

I will never understand why Mom always gets the toughest battle to fight or why this War is never over for her...but I will always understand who wins her battles. Back in December I promised the Lord that if He healed her body, I would never stop declaring and sharing His name. So here I am again, telling you that the only reason my Mom is alive is because sweet Jesus healed her.

Mom is doing well today. She seems to be more clear and more herself. She is still so weak that she can’t sit up by herself right now. It breaks my heart. She had come so far, and I feel like this stupid sickness has knocked her back. I’m praying that it’s a minor set back and each day she will get stronger. Please pray for strength for Mom. I know she’s so discouraged, but we won’t let satan steal her accomplishments. Not today, not any day. She’s come far and she will continue to go farther. No one can really tell us what caused all of this. It’s so frustrating to me. I want to know why this happened so we are sure it doesn’t happen again. All they can say is that she got a virus and it made her really sick. She tested negative for COVID-19, but could that have been wrong? I don’t know...Probably not, but what was it? There’s a good chance we will never know.  All I can say is that Mom is the strongest person I know. She’s still got a fight ahead of her and although I feel like we are turning a corner, she’s got a lot to accomplish to get out of this hospital.
Specifically, we need to pray that she can get off of the blood pressure medicine soon. She’s having issues keeping it high enough and for some reason when she sleeps it likes to drop. She’s also on a heparin drip... we need to get back on Coumadin in order to go home. Lastly, she’s still on oxygen. She needs to be completely breathing on her own. Please keep these things in mind when you pray for her.

Thank you all so much for your concern and prayers. It keeps me going knowing that people are wondering how we are doing. We love you and are so thankful for every single one of you.

XOXO
Addie

Happy Birthday Momma!

How do you properly commemorate a birthday for the most important person in your life? How do you accurately celebrate the woman that gave you life, has always unconditionally loved you and most importantly made you the person you are today? It isn't possible and I know, as I’m writing this, I won’t do her justice.

For as long as I can remember my Mom has been my best friend. Since day one, she’s devoted her life to not only me, but all her kids. Looking back, so often she went without so we wouldn’t. She made sure I was always prepared for whatever I was walking into. One of my sweetest memories of my childhood was how on the night before our first day of a new school year she would always paint my nails bright red. It was a CPS school color and she always wanted us to start the year feeling prepared and confident. I had an amazing childhood and it’s all thanks to her.

It seems so unfair that today, on her big 50th birthday, she has to spend it in a hospital bed so sick. For a woman that’s always been a giver, it sure feels like so much has been taken from her. I’m going to be honest and say that sometimes I get really mad. I use my bathroom door as a punching bag and let's just say I’ve done a lot of kickboxing in the last few days. I want more than anything for this fight to be over for Mom. I want to see her home with us, enjoying my kids and enjoying life. It’s been a hard 18 months for us. She is tired...we are tired...but I know for sure the Lord is not tired. Just when I feel like I can’t walk it anymore, he carries me a little farther.

This morning I got to spend some time with her. We watched everyone’s birthday videos...we talked about what’s going on on facebook...she asked about the kids. It was a good morning. She also got to do some PT this morning and said “it wasn’t too bad.” Around 1, she started having some pretty severe stomach pain and a fever. We aren’t sure exactly why she’s hurting or what is causing the fever... to be honest I don’t even care what is causing the pain, all I care about is figuring out how to make it go away. Whatever it is needs to be gone. Will you please help me pray away the pain and fever? Let it disappear at the mention of His name.

Thank you so much for all the love and prayers you all have sent our family. I feel it all day long and it’s what’s getting us through this. Please continue to pray for us and pray for Mom’s miracle. We love you all.

Marvelous Faith

The last 24 hours have been a world-wind. I’m trying hard to be thankful that mom is at least allowed one visitor everyday from 10-6 but it still doesn’t feel like enough. Leaving her overnight is hard. I call at 8PM, 10PM and one more time at 1AM every night. Then I start calling again at 8AM. The nurses do a great job of being patient with my questions, but it’s just not the same as being there. 

I’m going to try hard to explain the latest update on Mom, but it’s even confusing for us. When she originally was brought to the ER, it was due to bleeding from her mouth, ears and nose. She was also vomiting blood. Bloodwork showed that it might be DIC. Now, hematology is saying it might be liver coagulation and they don’t believe it’s DIC. The goal is to figure out what is causing the symptoms. Something underlining is causing the DIC or the liver coagulation. Well, although we don’t have blood work that shows it, they think she has some sort of infection in her belly. We aren’t sure if it’s bacterial or fungal so they started her on both antibiotics and anti-fungals. Her bloodwork shows no sign of this though. No fever, no high white count, and nothing growing on blood cultures. It’s puzzling. 

Mom is still very disoriented. She’s not eating and not able to even turn to her side. She’s extremely weak and can’t really respond to commands. After calling two stroke codes, one thing is for certain, she didn’t have a stroke. They did an EEG for about 24 hours and she’s not having seizures either. This is all good news. They think her mental state could be a symptom of the assumed infection. They think if they can get the infection cleared up she should clear up too. I want to ask you to all pray hard that if this is an infection it will clear up sooner rather than later. Please pray that if it’s not an infection, they will find the problem soon and fix it. Please pray that my Mom starts returning to her old self today. 

There is a story in the Bible that’s I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. It happened right after Jesus gave the sermon on the mount. He had entered a town called Capernum and was met by some Jewish leaders asking for His help. You see, a centurion there had a servant that was very sick. In the chapter they describe this servant as “so sick that he was near death.” Before Jesus could get to the servant a message was given to him by a representative of the centurion, it said “Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof. Therefore I did not presume to come to you. But say the word, and let my servant be healed. For I too am a man set under authority, with soldiers under me: and I say to one, “Go” and he goes; and to another, “Come,” and he comes; and to my servant, “Do this,” and he does it.” 

You see the centurion had such faith that Jesus could heal the man that he didn’t need Jesus to come in his house. He didn’t need to see it with his own eyes, he knew that all Jesus had to do was say the word and it would be done. 

The story continues... “When Jesus heard this, he marveled at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, ‘I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel.’ Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well.”

So many times in the last two years, I have marveled at what the Lord has done in my Mom’s life. He has healed her body over and over and literally gave life to her dying body. I have sat in awe of what he can and is willing to do for us when we ask. I refuse to give up faith. I refuse to lose sight of what he’s capable of. Like the centurion, I want the Lord to Marvel at us. I want Him to be in awe of the faith that we have in Him to perform yet another impossible miracle. I write all this to encourage you to stand in faith with me. Whether it’s for healing for my Mom or for something personal you have going on, stand with me. Stand before the world so faith filled that even the Lord, himself, can’t look away. I’m standing today with marvelous faith...knowing completely that my Mom will be healed.

He Holds Tomorrow

As I write this I am sitting by Mom’s beside as she sleeps. Yep, you read that right I’m in the hospital with her!!

The last 48 hours have been some of the hardest. When Mom was air lifted to Ochsner-NO on Wednesday night, the outlook was grim and scary. We couldn’t be with her.. they told us she had DIC, her liver was failing and the right side of her heart wasn’t pumping properly. As of now, only one of those things is true. A more thorough echo showed that her heart looks great and is actually small which is good news in the heart failure world. The doctors don’t believe anything new is wrong with her liver, but we are seeing the liver team just to rule out everything. Unfortunately, she DOES have DIC. This is so scary for me. About 50% of people who have DIC don’t survive, but not surprisingly Mom is doing extremely well. Normally to treat DIC you give FFP, blood transfusions and fluids. Yesterday morning we treated her that route, but today we are holding off on blood products due to the fact that she is still a transplant candidate. The more transfusions you receive the more likely you are to produce antibodies that could reject a heart. It’s a really big balancing game right now... figuring out what she needs to survive this battle while making sure she can fight tomorrows too. Yesterday, her bloodwork started trending back in the right direction. This is great news and another reason why we are holding off on the blood. Our prayers right now is that her levels would continue to head in the right direction. Specifically: platelets and blood count to rise and INR to lower. Please join me in praying for these needs.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last two years, it’s that you never know what tomorrow holds. I would have never guessed I would be sitting in Mom’s ICU hospital room today. Life can change in the blink of an eye. Hug your people and be thankful for your good health. Never go to bed angry and don’t miss an opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you. Today I’m thankful that although I don’t know what tomorrow holds, I know who holds it. He’s holding our future and he’s holding my Momma. What more can a girl ask for?

We love you all!

Addie

Not Alone

In some ways, I hate this blog. I hate that I have a reason to keep it updated and I hate that here I am again... Less than 2 years later, begging for your prayers and a miracle from the Lord. Again, I’m going to be real with y’all because it’s all I have in me right now.

Yesterday, Mom was having some uncontrolled bleeding from her nose and ears. She also was feeling more fatigued than usual. My grandfather ran some bloodwork and noticed that her Coumadin was greater than 8. Yikes! Basically that means that her blood was super super thin. She also had some low platelet counts, low potassium, her liver enzymes were a little off... etc. Her doctors in New Orleans told her to head the the Baton Rouge hospital to get some IV meds and an assement. Things just kind of went downhill from there. She started vomiting blood in the ER and shortly after, she was being loaded on an Airmed. We really can’t make it up.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been this mad, but y’all I’m ticked. Due to the infamous coronavirus, the New Orleans hospital isn’t allowing in visitors. No support person, no one. She’s by herself. That’s ok though, because the nurses will all know me by name and probably hate me by the time this is over. Yes, at 2 AM I was still up getting updates. I don’t play around when it comes to my Mom, and I will be her advocate from the phone. The information has been scarce and I wish I had more specific things to ask for prayers for. A few things have been thrown around and I’m going to tell you all of them, so you can pray away each one specifically. First, there has been concern about a possible issue with the right side of her heart. I’m not believing it though and I refuse to accept it. The second is possible DIC. I’m really refusing to believe that one. I think what’s most important now is to pray for her lab levels to return to normal. I don’t need a scientific explanation for why things went south because I have a Jesus reason for why they are going to get better. I’m asking you, friends, to believe with me for better labs this afternoon. Shocking those doctors is something Jesus is known for doing, and I’m confident it will happen again today.

My Mom is so strong. I’ve never met someone who fights like she does. She is struggling today because she’s alone. Her cheerleaders aren’t physically there with her, and that’s hard. Please pray for peace for her. Please ask the Lord to allow not let her feel alone, because she’s not. Last night was probably one of my worst nights, emotionally. I was so mad that I might have kicked the bathroom door a few times. I sat on the floor and was begging the Lord to give me a vision... to show me this was going to be ok. I literally pictured my Mom in the hospital room and sitting next to her was Jesus. She is not alone. She has the best advocate, and no maybe it can’t be me at this time but it’s so much better than I could ever be. He is her strength, her defender, her counsel and her great physician. He’s got this and today I’m resting in Him.

Will you join me?

It has been a little over a year and a half since my Mom’s original LVAD surgery and the week that our life changed forever. Looking back at that time I’m overwhelmed with how far she has come and I’m so thankful we have her here with us today. Today, I sat in the chair of my sweet beautician and was reminded how many amazing friends and family we have. You guys loved us through some really hard times. You were the hands and feet of Jesus and you picked us up and carried us through the fire. I felt it in my heart to reach out to you again today and give you an update on what is currently going on in my Mom’s life. 

The past 6 months have been mostly good for Mom. She’s had no major set backs and it’s mostly been a time of rehabilitation for her. For anyone who doesn’t know her story... My Mom had well over 10 surgeries in a week period that ended with an AKA, a LVAD and a 300+ day hospital stay. So to say the recovery is still ongoing is an understatement. She is currently in a wheelchair and has lost a lot of function in her left hand. Insurance has decided that they don’t believe she needs as much therapy as she does... and because of that reason she isn’t progressing as fast as she hoped to. Not to mention that her therapy was put on pause for a minute due to COVID-19. Her precious therapist at Central Physical therapy is working her tail off and we are so thankful for him. He’s an angel sent from heaven and we couldn’t be more blessed to have him. It’s very easy for Mom to get discouraged these days. Getting back to normal life after the accident wasn’t what she expected. To be honest, it wasn’t what we expected either. She had the expectation that the LVAD would give her a new lease on life and it’s in fact done the opposite. I can’t pretend to explain how she feels or what she’s going through, BUT I can tell you that seeing her grieve her old life is tearing me apart. It’s tearing our whole family apart. Bear with me as I am super raw and honest with you guys. We need prayer. We need the Lord to give Mom a renewed vision. We need Him to show her the purpose in this new life. We need his love to overwhelm her every single day like His love overwhelmed me back in December of 2018. We need him to fill her, my grandmother, my sisters, everyone with a strength that we have never felt. We need him to give her the ability to WALK more than anything else. My prayer recently is that before the year 2020 ends my Mom will have the ability to walk. I truly feel Iike that if we can get her to walk that she will be able to embrace this new life of hers. 

I write all this to ask you, my faithful and prayerful friends... will you join me in praying for my Mom again this year? Will you ask the Lord to give her the purpose and ability to walk? I’ve seen first hand what can happen when we storm heavens gates with prayers and I’m confident that if we ask Him again, He will again answer. 

We love you and are so blessed by you. 

Addie