Mom seemed to be a little better tonight. For the last few days, she has struggled with high heart rate. Her heart rate has ranged from the 130s to 150s all day and night. Today it has been a little lower and we are hoping this is a sign that it is finally settling. The surgeon was able to take out Mom's second chest tube today. This is another small step in the right direction. We are rejoicing in baby steps these days.
I shared with you all in the last update that Mom was struggling with anxiety and understanding all that she has been through. This has made visits and time with her difficult to say the least. Mom is also still at a great risk for infection. Because of all this, her doctors have advised us to closely regulate visitors. We love that we have so many friends and family supporting us and wanting to be there for Mom. If you would like to visit, please reach out to me or someone in our family to schedule a good time to come by. We want to make sure not to overwhelm Mom with unexpected guests and it's better if we are able to prepare her in advance. Communication for her remains very difficult. She still has so many questions and gets so frustrated when we aren't able to understand what she's mouthing. She is also so self-conscious about all she has gone through and sometimes even family makes her uncomfortable. We want to make sure, if you make the drive down here, you are able to see Mom when she is actually up for a visit.
Tomorrow, the doctors are hoping to start some nutrition through her feeding tube. Mom is so weak and it seems like each day that goes by, she is getting weaker. Prayerfully, the nutrition will help her gain some of her strength back so she can start building her muscles back up. It takes so much effort for her to just wiggle her toes right now and she doesn't move her arms. We will all be encouraged when we see her strong enough to lift her arms. Please pray for strength for her body as well as her mind.
When I went to tell Mom goodnight tonight, I learned in to kiss her and she smiled at me and told me I was so pretty. Y'all, it did my heart so good to see that smile and read those words off her lips. Moments are hard for Mom these days. Each hour is harder than the one before and we see her upset all the time. We hold on to every sweet moment we get with her.
Throughout this whole journey there have been so many moments where all we had to lean on was our faith. I'm not going to lie, there have also been moments when our faith seemed small or nonexistent. It's hard to have faith sometimes when you feel like your world is crashing down around you. Tonight, my sweet Aunt Kes gave us a gift to remind us all that no matter how much faith you have, it's enough. We all received a necklace that holds a mustard seed. She read to us a devotion that meant so much to me and I want to share part of it with you.
"Faith, even in its minimalist form is about trusting God as 'Almighty.' It means that there is nowhere God is absent, powerless, or irrevelevent; no situation in the universe in which God is at a loss. To have faith means to trust God, have confidence in God, take refuge in God, the God who has made everything and…has made visible for us the sort of God He is and the sort of purpose He has in the life and death and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus says that faith the size of a mustard seed is more powerful than all the mountains that we face."
It's so true. Our faith in Jesus, no matter how small, is more powerful than anything else in this world. I hope that no matter what you are going through, you never lose your faith. There will be times in our life that it's all we have and it will be what brings you through your battle. I can say with certainty that it's the only thing carrying us through this journey. We are blessed to have a God that loves us and protects us like Jesus does. He's so good and has been SO faithful to my family.
Thank you Addie for the update
ReplyDeleteMay your seed of faith grow hour by hour.
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