New Beginnings

Tonight my sweet husband posted a beautiful family photo of us to commemorate the ending of 2018. As I looked at it, I couldn’t help but smile and think about what it meant to me. It’s a photo of Ryan and I holding hands walking toward the sun with Harrison in tow. We are smiling and excited about the future ahead. When we took that photo, I had no idea the darkness that would lie ahead of us. I had no idea the unexplainable pain I would experience and the new found strength I would need to make it through each minute of each day. I had no idea how 2018 would end.

As I sit by Mom’s bed tonight and listen to the fireworks going off outside the window behind me, I can’t help but think about that photo and what is represents to me tonight. A bright future. Our family...walking toward new beginnings and happy endings. Leaving the darkness behind and seeing a glimmer of light while standing in a very dark tunnel. There will be a day again where we are all home, smiling, loving on each other and looking forward to new memories being made together as a family. We will look back on this time and not be sad but it will be a huge reminder of Jesus and what He can do in the lives of those that are faithful to Him. We will be grateful and the pain that we feel tonight will be a distant memory. I can’t wait for that day and I am so excited that this new year holds it for us.

Today Mom spiked another fever and we found out that she has a staph infection where the arterial line was removed a few days ago. We are encouraged that they found the source of the infection and that the infectious disease doctors are able to treat it specifically with the right antibiotic. Please pray that this infection clears up fast. She is struggling again with high heart rate and we believe this is the cause of it.

This evening she wanted to tell all the kids about her leg. She wanted them to hear from her what happened and that it was going to be ok. Y’all, she’s amazing. Her strength never ceases to amaze me. I cried through the whole thing and was so proud that she is my Mom. She loves her kids and all the nieces and nephews so much. She didn’t want them to be scared. Even in her darkest days she’s putting her kids first. I’ll say it again, she is amazing and I hope to one day be half the Mom she is.

Please continue to fiercely pray for our family through this coming year. It will be filled with lots of new beginnings and lots of new challenges. It will be a new way of living for every single one of us. Things will never be the same and we’ve all begun to accept that and be ok with it. We have so many hills to climb but so many things to look forward to. Mom coming home is one day I can’t wait for. In February our sweet Harrison turns 1 and in April we get to meet our precious baby girl, Eleanor. Recently, we have all talked about how excited we are for next Christmas. Yes, we know it’s only January, but we all are looking forward to how special next Christmas will be. I’m most excited that Mom will be here with us for all of these milestones. Today could be so different and even though I’m more tired than I’ve ever been, I’m just so thankful. Thankful that the future is bright and full of memories to be made. Thankful that the Lord is SO faithful and that He’s continuing to bless our family.

Tonight, 2018 ends and we say goodbye to the struggles we have faced during it. Tonight, we celebrate because Mom’s story doesn’t end in defeat but in victory. She is promised good by the Lord and we know that His plan is what is perfect for her. We are comforted to know she is being carried by Him and that he decides her story not any doctor or nurse. He’s never failed our family and we know for sure that He’s not about to now. Happy New Year! We pray your 2019 is full of blessings and miracles. We love you all so much.