Why? Why? Why?

As I write this, I’m driving home from New Orleans devastated over the news our family received today. Yesterday, Mom was admitted to the hospital with an abscess at the bottom of her chest scar. Since yesterday, it’s continued to get worse and worse. Dr Bansal came in this morning and in typical “Bansal” fashion gave us some pretty blunt and scary information. We basically have two options on how to handle this abscess... 1. Take out her VAD and put in a complete new one 2. Do a complete wash out, give antibiotics and get Mom listed for a heart.

You can imagine how devastating it was for our family to receive this news today. It completely knocked the breath out of me and I’m still just speechless. Angry, frustrated and speechless. Mom and our family have fought this battle for too long. We have cried and begged the Lord to heal Mom and just when we feel like we are safe, we get hit again. I have asked “Why” all day. Why do these awful things keep happening? Why can’t Mom catch a break? Why? Why? Why? I will probably never know the answer. For now, all we can do is keep praying and keep believing that Mom’s healing is coming. Keep begging God to end this nightmare and keep searching for that light at the end of the tunnel. Please keep praying for Mom and our family. Please specifically pray that this abscess is surface level and self contained. Please pray that no infection has spread to any of her equipment and please join us in begging the Lord for complete healing. 

As I drove home tonight full of heartache, this beautiful sunset was a sweet reminder of Jesus and what He has to offer our family during this difficult time. Tonight I’m refusing to give up hope. When all else is lost, we still have the sweet hope that Jesus gives us and tonight I’m so thankful for that. 


**Edited to add that on Monday Mom will be having surgery to do a complete wash out of her chest. There is no plan to replace her LVAD at this time.**